Depression gets skin deep but im praying for god to help me get thru this time

Depression is slowly getting the best of me but im looking as god will give me the strength to get thru this i know if i dont have anybody in the world atleast i have god. Atleast i know he is there

so i look at things diffrent then everybody else the world to me is a joke not like how it used to be mostly full of people who act like they have a image are ashamed to ask for help . getting so much attention that they have left god behind backslidding christians .
why is that huh ?

I believe my life will be happy again and i will smile again and not have to worry or have a care in the world for the folks who dont have a care for me .

to know and understand how i feel is like getting up realizing you are a ghost as if you are dead to the world . as if the world has said F#ck you and kept going people hearts have only turn to material things timberlands jordans black labels what happen when a new fashion comes out ? you leave the old fashion in the dust have to have this image to show the next stranger im all that and im doing this when really all they doing is false advertising . the reason so many good people are by past is because men and women are so quick to find a look alike of a celebrity .
celebrity bleed they go thru sorrow and at the end of there career they either in jail or they die .

they just have a legacy that will die with the generations that knew of em .

i havent touched a ciggarette in monthes crazy huh i used to use a ciggarette to hide the pain and really it didint hide anything .it just revealed that i was trying to hide something .

waking up with no son to hold in my arms and it seems like nobody feels the saddness of being away from your child. and pretending like everything is alright it isnt alright this is not earth this hell you cant even go down the street wondering will that be your last day on earth . this is nuts huh crazy tears fall on my pillow for a better life a better family that will understand that depression isnt a thought its a sickness also . i have been depressed for years sometimes it turns off like a light switch but then there are times that it turn back off .

Crazy thoughts

its like your life flash in front of your eyes and its like the world could possibly care bout you . and some family could possibly care if you exist until you dont exist nomore . thats when they miss you or recognize what you did or sorry for this and that. maybe that will be the day my real family treat me like family instead of a outsider instead you try to replace the family with people thats not blood thinking that your friends will be there but at the end they treat you like how your family treated you pretend you dont exist wish they never met you or some cases just wish you play a magic trick and dissappear .

when will anybody appreciate me or will i be appreciated when im dead and gone
seems like all i have i done on this earth is suffered and feeling unloved i just know something is missing .

wow 5linx my beginning experience

so i started going to this presentation and made my mind up some monthes later that i was gonna join five linx this picture is the actual 5linx pbr that i went to that introduce me to the opp you cant see me because im like sitting in the corner thank goodness to that but it was a great experience i got to touch and see first hand the video phone even got to see the product in action it was neat what could i say
now i will be recieving my second product from 5linx becaue i already have my digital telephone adapter (DTA ) so now im gonna get my video phone and i already recieve my commisson so i will have to say this website is ledgit no scam you put in effort you will get it lol anyway visit my site today
i even recieved my blackberry free from using 5linx

its friday what a crazy week

so lets say this week has been crazy i got laid off from my job due to lack of work which i think is a lie . basically my job is just cowards thats what that is and another thing i hope they dont call me back because i wont come back any place that treat there employees like that is not a good place at all .

my son is coming home for the weekend and im so excited he makes me so happy when the world or when people dont in general it so cool being a mommy it some tough times and really tough times but it worth it . im pretty sure he has alot to tell me about something . i will have to go grocery shopping today and i want to reward myself for putting up with that stupid job because it do truley sucks i cant tell you what job due to me signing some forms but i will say its best that its left unsaid because they treat there employees bad and they suck so i will be getting me a ipod classic 160 gb so im trying to figure whats gonna happen today each day a surprise good or bad im gonna be ready ya hear me ready lol